Thx to friend and collegue Ryan Holmes for wrapping up my tenure as President of Raincity Studios so eloquently. 😉
“Kris is a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. He has been known to remodel train stations on his lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the areas of heat retention. He translates ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, Occasionally, he treads water for three days in a row.
He woos women with his sensuous and god like photography, can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and can cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. He is an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a large glass of water, he once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. He is the subject of numerous documentaries, when he’s bored, he builds large suspension bridges in his yard. He enjoy urban hang gliding. On his spare time he tirelessly volunteers to help create a better world.
He is an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a voracious socialite. Critics worldwide swoon over his prolific flickr account. He is a private citizen, yet he recieves fan mail. He bats 400 and he’s internet famous.
His deft floral arrangements have earned him fame in international botany circles. Children trust him.
He can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. He once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. He knows the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. He has performed several covert operations with the CIA. He sleeps once a week; when he does sleep, he sleeps in a chair. While on vacation in Austin, he successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to him.
I shamelessly paraphrased this from someone more clever than myself, but honestly think that 50% of this applies to Kris.”
He posted this to my LinkedIn profile where I’m currently working on updating my resume, CV, and portfolio in preparation for some grants I’m applying for.
photo by gone but not forgotten photographer friend Fiona Garden.
Here’s the much-copied original version from Hugh Gallagher in the 1990s. It was a college application essay.
Derek – who cares if it was impersonated. The recommendation is true and very funny. If anyone knows the indefatigable Kris Krug, they would indeed agree. Great writeup Ryan!
Derek, true.
“Shamelessly paraphrased” was liberally & sarcastically used in place of “copy”. I had no intentions to claim this clever piece as my own and disclaimed. Thanks for providing link.